After almost successfully forgetting that bad things happen to people all the time, I am back at work. Not even a week yet with other staff members and already horrific tales of runaways and abuse have made their way back to me. Suddenly wondering what happened to the empowered glow surrounding me in the week after completing my first ever triathlon. For one week, I literally thought I could do anything I wanted. It was a fabulous week. Giddy happy almost every day just reveling in sunshine and rainbows and butterflies.
Well, now I'm back. Trying to remember that feeling. Clinging to tail-ends of happiness like a little kid playing capture the puppy dog. And yes that is a reference to my new roommates. One of whom is a two year old little boy who will give high fives on request whenever I need a little inspiration.
So my question is, since I can't hide from the horrible stuff in the world forever, how do I keep my passion for life alive? How do I embrace the people around me while holding my palms open so that they can come and go as needed? How do I trust that the people who will be most important to me will stick around whether I ask them to or not?
I honestly don't know the answer. I do know that true happiness is often the result of knowing the dark places. Knowing pain and sadness yet finding joy in a sunset or a dragonfly skimming the water on a lake. Sometimes in my work though, I tend to let the pain wash over me without letting the joy in. This year my goal is simple. Allow the joy in too. Let the good things weigh at least as much as the bad. Hopefully more. Let myself laugh when something is funny. Let myself stay open to good people and good adventures often just around the corner. Trust that although life is unpredictable and scary at times, it is also good and full and worthwhile. So friends, open your hearts. The pain is worth the joy that follows and surprises in the most fascinating ways.
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