Sinking into contentment feels so good and comforting after wandering and searching. Holding onto hope is challenging. Often it feels that the minute I begin to hope is the minute yet another story of some unspeakable atrocity committed against children slams into me.
Illness. Death. Rape. Lost jobs. Lost relationships. Sometimes it seems that hope, not hopelessness is the illusion. Sometimes I wonder how human beings can inflict so much pain on each other in the most tender and breakable places.
I guess that's what makes real hope so incredibly poignant. Because the truth about hope is that it endures in the darkest places.
Children who experience assault and yet continue to fight for their innocence by not giving up on their life and their dreams. People who stand on the sidelines and cheer friends and family facing constant life and death decisions regarding cancer. Artists who tell stories for those who have not yet found a way to share their voices. In the darkest places, hope shines the brightest.
One kind act can illuminate the faces of others who also have the capacity for kindness. Isn't it amazing how bright one candle is in total darkness?
What if we dared to hope? Not in ignorance of the realities of this world, but because in these realities there are so many tales of heroines and heroes.
I am so privileged to know such beautiful stories of courage. A kid who battles internally with the concept of following family into gang life, yet writes such compelling stories of truth and insight. Another kid who grows up so fast in losing a dear cousin yet finds meaning in helping others who have experienced similar painful losses. Friends who fight for their relationships with loyalty and bravery.
See, the truth is that when it comes to hope, the smallest spark matters. So keep hoping friends, and may courage and kindness guide your actions. You are so deeply loved.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
29.
Maybe 29 won't be so bad. I know exactly what my dreams are, and I am finally beginning to build confidence that my dreams may actually be achievable. I still get carded so at least I still look closer to 20 than 30.
I actually like my friends because I handpick who I spend time with now. Each of them are unique and interesting in their own ways. Each of them teach me something new about the world we live in. Some of them make me laugh. Others are around for the heartaches that come with the field I work in and the way I choose to live - authentic and open.
I go to church now because I actually want to. No one tells me to go, and even if they did it wouldn't matter. I actually really like my independence and where I am at in life.
I am still young enough that my dreams are possible, attainable. I am old enough to hopefully make better decisions about my future.
My parents laugh when I say I feel older this year. I get it. I know in the scheme of it all, I am not THAT old. It's just the first time in my life I feel like maybe I won't be young forever.
Some say age is just a number. Maybe it is. Some say age adds wisdom. Maybe it does.
The truth is that my generation will quickly become in charge. Soon I will see my peers running for office instead of older white men that often appear to have no idea what actually occurs for the rest of us.
Will we continue this path we are on of choosing the bottom line over the well-being of real life human beings? Or will we do something new and different?
Will we be able to pick up on the good things set in motion before us yet discern what must change?
Will I get to live in a society that figures out how to fund both education and care and protection for the elderly without taking those funds from homeless shelters?
I don't know. But I certainly hope so.
Suddenly 29 seems very young indeed.
I actually like my friends because I handpick who I spend time with now. Each of them are unique and interesting in their own ways. Each of them teach me something new about the world we live in. Some of them make me laugh. Others are around for the heartaches that come with the field I work in and the way I choose to live - authentic and open.
I go to church now because I actually want to. No one tells me to go, and even if they did it wouldn't matter. I actually really like my independence and where I am at in life.
I am still young enough that my dreams are possible, attainable. I am old enough to hopefully make better decisions about my future.
My parents laugh when I say I feel older this year. I get it. I know in the scheme of it all, I am not THAT old. It's just the first time in my life I feel like maybe I won't be young forever.
Some say age is just a number. Maybe it is. Some say age adds wisdom. Maybe it does.
The truth is that my generation will quickly become in charge. Soon I will see my peers running for office instead of older white men that often appear to have no idea what actually occurs for the rest of us.
Will we continue this path we are on of choosing the bottom line over the well-being of real life human beings? Or will we do something new and different?
Will we be able to pick up on the good things set in motion before us yet discern what must change?
Will I get to live in a society that figures out how to fund both education and care and protection for the elderly without taking those funds from homeless shelters?
I don't know. But I certainly hope so.
Suddenly 29 seems very young indeed.
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