Thoughts on Advent

Anyone who knows me knows that I love Christmas. I love the way lights change a typical Boulder street to a festive, magical place full of possibility. I love the way people’s thoughts turn to generosity and compassion. I love the gentle strains of a chorus of “I’m dreaming of a White Christmas” sung by Bing Crosby of course.

As a counselor though, I am becoming more and more aware that Christmas is not as beautiful for everyone as it is for me. I know children who would rather be at school than at home. No one beats them for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time at school. Free and reduced lunch programs ensure at least one meal a day. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our personal worlds of hurt and disillusionment that it’s too easy to forget those around us struggling just to put food on the table.

During this season of advent, my goal has been to be content. To let the joy of the season wash over me and fill me. I don’t want to be pulled into dreams of wanting more than I have. I want to revel in the sweetness of the way my life is, now, today.

It’s incredibly easy to wallow, even in the face of the profession I have chosen, on a daily basis. I sink back into dwelling on the things that are missing from my life. A husband. A family. A newer car. One of those iphones that everyone seems to have but me. Suddenly, instead of enjoying this magical season, I find myself miserable. Selfish. Bitter.

The thing is, that I don’t want to feel that way this season. And I don’t want to wait to get those things I just listed in order to feel happy.

The deepest reason I love Christmas is the story it is based on. The story of a woman choosing an impossible task. A woman becoming center stage in a time when women were often hidden behind men. This woman, Mary, chooses to allow Love to inhabit her body. No matter what you believe, the story behind Christmas is one of the most incredibly compassionate stories ever passed down for centuries. God decides that heaven isn’t close enough to knowing the people on earth, so he decides to visit in a bizarre way, yes. In a way that doesn’t completely make sense. He comes as a baby. He goes from knowing everything to relying on others for food and comfort. The reason I love Christmas so much is that it is about an extreme act of love. An act of love that if allowed can change all of our bitter, wanting hearts to hearts of gratitude and joy.

This advent, instead of bitterness, I am choosing thankfulness. I am thankful for my job. It’s not just a job; it is a place where I get the profound privilege of working with teenagers. They let me into their lives and hopefully let me help them even just a little bit. They are constantly teaching me too. I am thankful for my dog, Java. She makes coming home fun. She makes me play in the snow. She reminds me to relax. I am thankful for my family. They are beautiful people, and I am so glad they are in my life. I am thankful for my dear friends all over the country. They inspire me and encourage me.

My life is full. And in response to the grand act of love inspiring this season, I’m choosing to be influenced and hopefully filled by this love.